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Posted by on Thursday November 27, 2014 at 12:53:20:

It's the common thing they watch on Westernized television stations most especially when romantic movies are showing but when it really comes down to it, it's rare for a Nigerian man to go on one knee just to propose marriage to a woman.

In Nigeria, life is hard enough and our ancestors were mostly climbing trees and fighting wars before the white man came to invade our land with their culture. It's probably going to take another 1000 years or so for a typical Nigerian man to become westernized and some don't even look up to western culture as much a others do.

For most men in the 21st century who are already married and have been so for over 20 years, getting married in Nigerian culture doesn't even come down to the choice or decision of the women but on the decision of the parents and kinsmen. I even heard that in the old days, it was normal to even capture women as prisoners of war and get married to them by force. In those days, women understood what it means to be a slave and what it means to be a free born.

Even for most 21st century Nigerian men, it is actually easier to get married to a girl once you get her parents involved and they approve of it irrespective of whether or not the girl in question agrees initially. Some Nigerian women may initially reject a marriage proposal from a man but after much pressure from her parents, she might eventually agree to it.

Although times are changing and some Nigerian couples prefer the Westernized American or European style of life whereby 2 partners mutually date each other for a while before agreeing to get married on their own terms, there is still a lot of power the society has in respect of who eventually gets married to the other person.

Unlike some western countries where white men can commit suicide because of a rejected marriage proposal to a woman, the average Nigerian man is not so desperate to get married since it's mostly considered as a bed of thorns and only something Nigerian women love more than they do. I guess It's because the society places a lot of stress on the Nigerian man before he gets married and afterwards.

In the Nigerian society, the man is expected to pay the dowry to his wife's kinsmen and also pay the wedding bill. He is also expected to single-handedly provide for the family even after marriage as the wife is not really pressured into contributing to the financial needs of the family but rather bear and raise up their children. Most Nigerian women who get married end up as full time housewives with the approval of the society while the man sweats day and night to provide for the whole family.

As a result of the abundant stress of going into married life in Nigeria, most Nigerian men are not quick to rush into it and for those that do, they don't really go to the extent of humbling themselves to kneel before a woman just to ask for her hand in marriage as if it was an easy thing to do. In fact, compared to Nigerian men, it's the woman that are more eager to get married and so when they see a man that at least has a job and would make a good husband, they would willingly accept his marriage proposal even if the man were standing up while asking her for marriage.

It's rare to witness Nigerian men kneeling down to ask a Nigerian women "Will you marry me?". A typical Nigerian man tends to have more pride than a white man when it comes to asking for a woman's hand in marriage because he knows it's serious business and requires more sacrifice from him than from the woman. He is more likely to just say to the woman "Let's get married" and some might not even ask the girl but rather surprise her with a visit to her parents with his kinsmen.

Most Nigerian men who got married in the 70s got married as a result of marriage agreements between parents of both parties and the couples didn't even know each other before then. However the trend seems to be changing a bit gradually as we get into the 21st century since more couples now prefer dating and knowing each other before eventually getting married with each other's consent.

However, the 21st century Nigerian man is still a bit more traditional and doesn't copy everything he watches on television and same also for the Nigerian woman. Most women don't expect a man to beg them for marriage or even kneel down to propose since it's a bit of an alien culture. For most Nigerian women, the least they expect their prospective husband to do is at least be hardworking, have a good character and show a genuine intention to get married to them.







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